ESTHER'S LETTER
Hey Ess,
I sat and cleaned up my apartment today, seated beneath a pile of my old college books was a picture of the two of us; I just stood, carrying my 1980's fro and a bland look on my face with the exception of the plastic smile I had mastered over the years, and you, you... my dear, brought life to the picture with your hands that were spread so far out as your hair danced in the wind, while we stood within a frame of the prestigious University of Portharcourt logo, you always wore the prettiest smile I had ever seen in the twenty-five years I had been alive. It was our convocation, and I must say that we had a great four years in school. You are that one friend I feel no pressure around and even though we had our issues back then it was nothing our friendship couldn't weather.
Today, the story has changed, but the love hasn't. The friendship is stronger yet it's painfully complicated. I wouldn't ask how we let this happen because I am very sure that it isn't a mystery to the two of us. We always knew this was inevitable, yet somehow we chose to stay strong and not let our lust consume a meaningful relationship. It worked for us back then, why is the story any different now?
As I write this, I am seated on the cold tiles in my room, staring down at our picture and trying to recreate the images of the beauty that once adorned our friendship but flashes of our recent surrender to lust stain my thoughts. Now when I think of you I am stuck with time-cuts of us kissing, holding hands and eventually fighting over things married people fight about. My heart is torn and I know that I can do better than this. I want to respect you, I want to respect the trust you gave to me six years ago when we first said "hi" at that eatery back in school.
If we are dating, then it would be easier to just tell you that I want a break-up, but we aren't, so what are we doing? Why are we letting our bodies define our relationship especially when we know we cannot immediately see any future ahead?
I want us to be friends with "BENEFITS", but let the benefits not have amorous dispositions. There is a lot you can learn from me, there is a lot I too can learn from you, so let us take a step back today and deny ourselves immediate gratification in a bit to become better versions of ourselves.
Your friend,
Kay.
I sat and cleaned up my apartment today, seated beneath a pile of my old college books was a picture of the two of us; I just stood, carrying my 1980's fro and a bland look on my face with the exception of the plastic smile I had mastered over the years, and you, you... my dear, brought life to the picture with your hands that were spread so far out as your hair danced in the wind, while we stood within a frame of the prestigious University of Portharcourt logo, you always wore the prettiest smile I had ever seen in the twenty-five years I had been alive. It was our convocation, and I must say that we had a great four years in school. You are that one friend I feel no pressure around and even though we had our issues back then it was nothing our friendship couldn't weather.
Today, the story has changed, but the love hasn't. The friendship is stronger yet it's painfully complicated. I wouldn't ask how we let this happen because I am very sure that it isn't a mystery to the two of us. We always knew this was inevitable, yet somehow we chose to stay strong and not let our lust consume a meaningful relationship. It worked for us back then, why is the story any different now?
As I write this, I am seated on the cold tiles in my room, staring down at our picture and trying to recreate the images of the beauty that once adorned our friendship but flashes of our recent surrender to lust stain my thoughts. Now when I think of you I am stuck with time-cuts of us kissing, holding hands and eventually fighting over things married people fight about. My heart is torn and I know that I can do better than this. I want to respect you, I want to respect the trust you gave to me six years ago when we first said "hi" at that eatery back in school.
If we are dating, then it would be easier to just tell you that I want a break-up, but we aren't, so what are we doing? Why are we letting our bodies define our relationship especially when we know we cannot immediately see any future ahead?
I want us to be friends with "BENEFITS", but let the benefits not have amorous dispositions. There is a lot you can learn from me, there is a lot I too can learn from you, so let us take a step back today and deny ourselves immediate gratification in a bit to become better versions of ourselves.
Your friend,
Kay.
Cool piece bro
ReplyDeleteThis is sooo beautiful and honest 😍
ReplyDeleteThank you so much precious.
DeleteFriends with benefits without amorous connotations? The very phrase friends with benefits was coined for amorous reasons. Couldn't Kay have chosen a better description for Ess?
ReplyDeleteWe can choose the definition we give to the word BENEFITS🧐, we made the word and therefore can chose to colour it how we please.
DeleteI am in love with this letter.💖
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteWow..... Just wow
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely. Thumbs up sweet 👍🏻
Thank you so much Tessy
DeleteHmmm mmm. A sad story indeed. It's sad because it will take God, and a lot of maturity from both Ess and Kay to repair that relationship.
ReplyDeleteTrue, and also a lot of self-control also. Do you think they could ever go back to what their relationship was like?
DeleteI really don't think the relationship will ever be like it was before. Just like a perfect rose is stomped on, though it survives the rumpled petals may not be the same. Same thing with a mended glass. But why would Kay address this over a letter?
DeleteI guess he must have figured how difficult it would be saying this to her face, if the roles were reversed "maybe" she'll do the same. Then again, in our time, it might just be a really long whatapp message.
DeleteThe truth is, whatever they had between each other, or rather the places they let their emotions explore, are now bits and pieces of tthe summation of their lives and it's not something you choose to make disappear.
The Question rather would be, "Can they grow from where they are now?"
"YES"
I am not saying that it would be an easy road, but it is possible.
I agree with you. Another question will be are the both of them willing and committed to making the necessary change required. Hmmm I wonder what Esther's version of this story would be? Is it possible to hear her own side of the story?
DeleteYes I agree that it is possible. Another question will be are the both of them willing and committed to make the necessary change needed to move past this stage. Hmmm I wonder what Esther's version of this story will be? Is it possible to hear from her?
DeleteWise at last
ReplyDeleteWow this is beautiful klyn
ReplyDeleteKlyn I want more, can the letter continue?
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, that was all he wrote...😪
DeleteAn interesting read here sweetheart. I enjoyed it because it rang true. Nothing ruins a good friendship like a brief trip down the road to lust. Kay obviously values the friendship enough to let go of the pleasure so as to focus on the real deal. I wonder how she would respond.
ReplyDeleteI am not privy to what Esther's thoughts were, but I can tell you this, She most certainly didn't like the letter she got.
DeleteAmazing..a fight that's common yet many loose to it
ReplyDeleteI Love the write up.👌
ReplyDeletethank you so very much
Delete